When Mommy Is Scared of the Dentist

When Mommy is scared of the dentist, the kids often notice. You can still get the care you need and help your child feel calm too. Here is how, from Southern York Smile Care in Shrewsbury, PA.

Dental anxiety is common. Many adults put off cleanings and treatment for years because of a bad experience, the sounds and smells of a dental office, or a fear of pain or of losing control. If that sounds like you, you are in good company. And if you are a parent, you may also worry that your child will pick up on your nerves. The good news is that there are practical ways to look after your own teeth and to give your child a positive start.

Why parents' fears matter to children

Children watch how the adults around them react. If they see a parent tense up before a dental visit, or hear stories about painful appointments, they may decide the dentist is something to fear. A child who dreads the dentist is more likely to resist checkups, and skipped checkups can let small problems grow.

Regular dental visits are important for your child's lifelong oral health. A positive experience early on makes every future visit easier. That is why it helps to manage your own anxiety, and to be thoughtful about what your child hears.

Sedation for anxious adults

If you are dreading upcoming treatment, sedation dentistry may help. Southern York Smile Care offers oral sedation:

• Oral sedation. You take a prescribed pill before your visit. It produces a deeper sense of calm, and many patients remember little of the appointment afterward. You will need someone to drive you to and from the office.

Local anesthetic is used to numb the area being treated, so sedation is about helping you feel calm, not just pain-free.

Choosing the right level

The right choice depends on several things, and Dr. Haywood will talk through each one with you:

• the kind of anxiety you feel, such as fear of pain, fear of being still for a long time, or fear of losing control
• the procedure you need and how long it will take
• how past dental visits have gone for you
• your overall health and any medicines you take

You can read more about how the practice keeps patients relaxed in Southern York Smile Care Has a Solution for Dental Anxiety.

Other ways to make your visit easier

Sedation is only one tool. Many patients find these simple steps help too:

• Say it out loud. Tell the team you are nervous when you call and again when you arrive. Knowing helps them pace the visit for you.
• Agree on a stop signal. Raising a hand to pause gives you control.
• Ask what is next. Many people feel calmer when each step is explained before it happens.
• Book a morning visit. Less time to worry during the day.
• Bring headphones. Music or a podcast can soften the sounds of the office.

If it has been years since your last visit, try not to let embarrassment keep you away. The team sees patients in every situation and will not judge. The first appointment can simply be a conversation and a look, with no treatment at all, so you can get to know Dr. Haywood and the office before deciding on anything. Read more in Been a While Since You've Visited a Dentist?

Technology helps as well. Southern York Smile Care uses digital X-rays, which can cut radiation exposure by up to 90 percent, and an iTero 3D scanner that replaces many messy impressions. For some small fillings, air abrasion can remove decay without the sound of a traditional drill. Learn more on our dental technology page and in The Dream of No Drill.

Helping your child feel calm at the dentist

Here is a gentle truth: the team cannot sedate a parent while a child is being treated. But you can take comfort in knowing that your child will be well looked after. The team makes sure young patients are comfortable, relaxed and understand what is going to happen, in words that make sense to a child.

A few ideas for the days before your child's visit:

• Keep your own worries private if you can. If your child does not know you feel anxious, there is no need to share it.
• If your child already knows, be honest and brave. Explain that your worry is a feeling, not a sign that something bad will happen, and that you go to the dentist anyway because you want healthy teeth. Showing courage teaches courage.
• Use simple, positive words. Talk about the dentist "counting your teeth" and "making them shiny." Avoid words like hurt, shot or drill.
• Play dentist at home. Take turns counting each other's teeth with a toothbrush. It makes the real visit feel familiar.
• Start early. A first visit around the first birthday, or when the first tooth appears, lets your child meet the dentist before any treatment is needed.
• Praise afterward. Celebrate a good visit with a sticker or a trip to the park, not a sugary treat.

If your child needs a filling or other simple treatment, a topical numbing gel is applied to the gums first so the area feels less sensitive. Dr. Haywood will explain the plan to you before anything is done, and you can ask about comfort options that suit your child. Learn more about children's dentistry at Southern York Smile Care, and see 5 Benefits of Preventive Dentistry for Kids.

Looking after the whole family

When parents keep up with their own checkups, kids notice. Booking your visits on the same day can make dental care a normal family routine. Southern York Smile Care offers full-service care for the whole family, including dental cleanings, preventive dentistry, restorative care and cosmetic dentistry. Adult cleanings are a full 60 minutes, so nobody feels rushed.

Dr. Steven Haywood has more than 35 years in practice and has spent that time helping nervous patients of all ages feel at ease.

Your next step

If fear has kept you away, start with a conversation. Call Southern York Smile Care at (717) 235-3871 to talk about sedation options, or request an appointment for you and your child at 4 S. Main St in Shrewsbury. The practice welcomes families from York, southern York County and northern Baltimore County, MD.

About the authorDr. Steven Haywood, DDS

DDS cum laude 1987, US Air Force residency, NYU cosmetic training and Fellow of the International Congress of Oral Implantologists, with 35+ years in practice.

Meet Dr. Haywood →